A Memory of Light. (Chapter 4 is up! Please review :D))
Posted: Fri Jun 04, 2010 6:51 pm
(( I will be updating this as soon as I get more quality ideas, the same basic outcome is the same, just nearly all of the details and such have been changed.)) nPlease tell me what you think!
This is my first backstory for a character and I would really appreciate some tips on how to make it better, nHere's whats the same: nLoilaton is still a DK nThat means he died at some point.(Suprise! I should be a suspense writer!) nHe's pretty ticked off at who killed him.nHe's still blinded, He can still see through dark magic though.nBook 1. nA Song for Innocencen Chapter One.n~On Bread and Ale~nn A Sharp wind blew through the streets of the Quel'Dorei city of Silvermoon, sending leaves swirling through the early spring air. It was always spring in Quel'thalas, the Sunwell made sure of that, but the air still had an early morning chill to it. That early morning chill was enough to make a persons checks red, and when one has a cough it didn't really help. All that combined was enough to make Loilaton walk a little faster on his way to the bakery, he was to get an loaf of bread for mother, deliver a letter to Aunt Illeyia, and then- his train of thought was cut off. There it was, right in front of him! The biggest puddle he had ever seen! He couldn't resist but to move a little closer, just one itsy, bitsy, tiny, splash couldn't hurt! He moved a bit closer, he could see his reflection now, he stood of a medium height for his age, he had untidy black hair, and wide blue eyes, but then again, every Quel'dorei had blue eyes. But his mother said his where her favorite. "Yours are just a tad bit different" she said, when she told him he had done a good job, she always commented on his eyes when she told him he was her favorite son. He never bothered to tell her he was her only son. She only laughed when he did tell her. then she'd say "Well that means you don't have competition." Then he'd laugh and abruptly ask what dinner was, she'd then reply, "I'm not exactly sure yet." Then she'd procrastinate so long that he'd be forced to go buy a loaf of bread from the bakery. The exact thing he was doing right now, with that thought in mind he decided to pay the puddle a visit latter, mainly beacuse he was hungry, but father also came home from whatever it was Farstriders do-he never payed attention, if you don't get to ride around on a dragon and become a hero like in the stories it wasn't worth his attention. Now that he thought about the hero's in stories never rode around on a dragon. He guessed he would just have to be the first, after he got the bread and delivered the letter of course, he would eat first, it's hard to be a hero on an empty stomach.
This is my first backstory for a character and I would really appreciate some tips on how to make it better, nHere's whats the same: nLoilaton is still a DK nThat means he died at some point.(Suprise! I should be a suspense writer!) nHe's pretty ticked off at who killed him.nHe's still blinded, He can still see through dark magic though.nBook 1. nA Song for Innocencen Chapter One.n~On Bread and Ale~nn A Sharp wind blew through the streets of the Quel'Dorei city of Silvermoon, sending leaves swirling through the early spring air. It was always spring in Quel'thalas, the Sunwell made sure of that, but the air still had an early morning chill to it. That early morning chill was enough to make a persons checks red, and when one has a cough it didn't really help. All that combined was enough to make Loilaton walk a little faster on his way to the bakery, he was to get an loaf of bread for mother, deliver a letter to Aunt Illeyia, and then- his train of thought was cut off. There it was, right in front of him! The biggest puddle he had ever seen! He couldn't resist but to move a little closer, just one itsy, bitsy, tiny, splash couldn't hurt! He moved a bit closer, he could see his reflection now, he stood of a medium height for his age, he had untidy black hair, and wide blue eyes, but then again, every Quel'dorei had blue eyes. But his mother said his where her favorite. "Yours are just a tad bit different" she said, when she told him he had done a good job, she always commented on his eyes when she told him he was her favorite son. He never bothered to tell her he was her only son. She only laughed when he did tell her. then she'd say "Well that means you don't have competition." Then he'd laugh and abruptly ask what dinner was, she'd then reply, "I'm not exactly sure yet." Then she'd procrastinate so long that he'd be forced to go buy a loaf of bread from the bakery. The exact thing he was doing right now, with that thought in mind he decided to pay the puddle a visit latter, mainly beacuse he was hungry, but father also came home from whatever it was Farstriders do-he never payed attention, if you don't get to ride around on a dragon and become a hero like in the stories it wasn't worth his attention. Now that he thought about the hero's in stories never rode around on a dragon. He guessed he would just have to be the first, after he got the bread and delivered the letter of course, he would eat first, it's hard to be a hero on an empty stomach.